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  This book is for sale to ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY. It contains substantial sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which may be considered offensive by some readers. Please store your files where they cannot be accessed by minors.

  All sexually active characters in this work are 18 years of age or older.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Cover Design: Emma Hillman

  One Last Vice © May 2010 Emma Hillman

  eXcessica publishing

  All rights reserved

  One Last Vice

  By Emma Hillman

  Prologue

  “Please. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

  Chloe looked at the man sitting across from her. His knee was bouncing up and down under the table, his fingers tearing up the paper napkin he’d stolen from her. “But J, I don’t understand how you can ask me this!”

  “Why not? You’re my PA after all.”

  “Exactly. Which means I take care of your dogs, I make sure your fridge is full. I get you coffee. It’s just…You may pay my wages but it still doesn’t mean I’m willing to become a prostitute!” Her voice had risen and she looked around the quiet Starbucks to make sure no one had heard the last part of her speech.

  “I’m not asking you to whore yourself out, for fuck’s sake!” he swore as he took a sip of his scalding coffee. “I just need help while I’m detoxing.”

  “You just quit smoking!”

  “And it means I have only one vice left, C. Just one. I need sex. I need something to occupy my mind, my hands. All I can think about is one more cigarette. Between that and my craving for alcohol, I’ve reached my limit. Please, Chloe.” His voice was so desperate she felt herself start to nod.

  “James, I—”

  “Please.”

  “Why me? Why can’t you find an ex of yours? You’re always going out. I’m sure you can find someone who’d be interested in fucking you on a daily basis.”

  “What do you think I’ve been doing this past week?” he growled. “I can’t stand them. I need someone I can trust. I need…you.”

  Hell, that was not fair! He couldn’t be nice and expect her to…Argh! “You hired me because I’m not your type. Remember?”

  “I remember. That’s why you’re perfect. We won’t get close, I mean closer. You won’t want to become my girlfriend. You’ll still work for me afterwards. Right?”

  “But—”

  He continued as if she hadn’t interrupted him. “I’ll make it worth for you, I promise.”

  “I don’t want any more money!” she yelped. “Who do you take me for? If I agree to this, it’ll just be because you’re a friend and I don’t want you to, you know—”

  “Fall again?”

  “Yeah.” She licked her lips. “Why did you quit smoking if you knew it was going to be this hard? Are you sure it’s necessary—”

  He cut her off once again, “The doctor told me I had to quit smoking if I wanted to keep on singing. You know me, babe. You know I have to sing. And if that means no more cigarettes, then so be it.”

  “It’s not that easy, J. Didn’t the doc give you stuff to alleviate your needs? Gums, patches, anything?”

  “I’ve tried them all but nothing works. I was even at an acupuncturist this morning. But no, the only time I didn’t feel the need for a cigarette was when I was fucking that girl the other night.”

  TMI, Chloe thought, wincing at his words. Fuck, how could she think that when if he got his way, she’d be under him soon? He was her boss. She’d gotten used to thinking of him that way. So why did it have to change now? “Are you sure you can’t find someone else? Someone who actually looks like your usual conquests? You know, tiny, dark-haired, etc.?”

  “Chloe.” He grabbed her hand across the table. “Do you really think I’d ask you this if I hadn’t tried everything else I could think of?” She stared back at him, wondering if he realized how rude that sounded. Like she was his last solution and even if she wasn’t up to his standards, he had no choice. “Please, Chloe. It won’t be for long. I just need to get all the nicotine out of my system and then the doc said it’d be easier. Please.” His hands tightened around hers, his gaze catching hers. She tried saying no. Really, she did. But all that came out was a mumble and a nod.

  Chapter One: Getting Started

  “Thank fuck for that,” James muttered as they got into his car. “I have to have you.”

  Chloe froze. “What? Now?”

  “Yeah.”

  “But…but…we’re in the car!”

  “Who cares? Get in the back seat.”

  “But—”

  James’s anxious face popped in front of hers. “Please, C, please. I need to stop thinking about it. I’ve been driving myself crazy all day long, I need a respite. Please.”

  She bit her lip in an effort to stop herself from running away. She’d only just said yes and he was already expecting her to have sex with him. She wasn’t sure she was ready. Hell, she didn’t know if she would ever be ready! “What about I…” She licked her lips. “Take care of you?”

  “You want to suck me off?”

  “Uh, I guess.” It wasn’t that she wanted to per se. But it was better than the alternative, right?

  “Oh, why not? That should do the trick for the time being,” he said before snapping his jeans open. She watched, eyes wide, as he drew his boxers down. His erection sprang free. “Ah, that feels better,” he said as he leaned back against his seat.

  Chloe looked around them, at the parking lot that was nearly empty. At the sunshine filtering through the car’s tinted windows. Thank God for those, she thought as she took a deep breath and finally took a good look at him. He wasn’t too big. That was a good thing, especially if she was supposed to, you know, deep-throat him. Not that she’d ever done that before but surely, it shouldn’t be that complicated.

  He was so used to having sex with groupies or playmates or…well, women with experience anyway, she was going to look stupid. She was sure of it. He was going to tell her to stop and go find somebody else.

  But that was what she wanted, right? For him to go find somebody else to relieve his urges?

  Then why was her heart contracting at the thought?

  Stupid heart!

  Before she could talk herself out of it, she leaned down between their seats and tried to find a somewhat comfortable position. It was a good thing this 4Runner was huge, she thought as she came face to face with his cock. Well, hello there.

  She nearly giggled out of sheer fear and desperation, but forced it down.

  “Come on, baby, I’m dying here!”

  She looked up in time to see him grab the wheel in both hands and squeeze. His arms were strained, his face nearly as red as his arousal.

  “Okay. Okay,” Chloe repeated. “I can do this,” she whispered, her breath tickling him.

  He growled, making her jump. “CHLOE!”

  “Yes, yes, I’m here. I’m here. I’m—” Fingers wrapped around her ponytail and pushed her head down. “Hey!”

  “Get on with it!”

  His voice sounded harsh, not at all like it usually was. Finally realizing she’d said yes, that she had no choice, she focused on the fact he needed her and opened her mout
h.

  He tasted salty and not too unpleasant. Better than what she’d expected anyway. He growled as she ran her tongue around his head then down one side. “Yes, baby, that’s it.” She nearly rolled her eyes at his enthusiasm. Considering she wasn’t doing much, it seemed a bit, well, much. Men! “Suck me, baby. I want to feel your mouth.”

  Here we go. She stilled then opened her lips wide. He surged inside, nearly choking her with his haste. Drawing back, she took a deep breath and tried again. She’d nearly looked up at him to tell him off then realized she didn’t want to see his face. His eyes on her. No, it was better if she forgot who he was. After all, he was calling her baby so he was probably doing the same thing. Maybe he was even imagining someone else right now. Someone with better skills and a nicer body.

  Someone who wasn’t his PA.

  She opened her mouth and bore down.

  * * * *

  Contrary to popular belief, it didn’t get easier with time.

  Her jaws locked, her face heated up but he still kept on pumping. His hips were going up and down, his head kept bumping into the back of her throat and it was all she could do not to jerk back. She’d never been prone to throwing up and it was a damn good thing too. Between that and his hands heavy on her head, she was seriously considering giving up.

  But finally, the moment arrived. He stopped thrusting, jerked up one last time and emptied himself into her mouth. A loud roar rang throughout the car but she ignored it, too caught up in trying to swallow it all.

  Damn man could have at least warned her! Wasn’t that what polite men did? She was pretty sure she’d read it in Cosmo or something.

  “Fuck,” he breathed out, his hands letting go of her hair as he slumped backwards. “That was good.”

  Chloe licked her lips then frowned when she tried to sit up. Her back ached, her legs had cramped up. Everything was peachy! Doing her best to ignore him as she smoothed her clothes, she sat up and looked outside. The world had kept on going without them. No one was staring at the car as if they’d been noticed. People walked by or entered Starbucks as if everything was normal.

  Except it wasn’t. And it never would be again.

  She’d given her boss a blowjob.

  Help!

  She finally looked at him from the corner of her eyes and noticed he hadn’t moved. He looked drained, as if he’d run a marathon instead of having received some loving.

  Shaking her head, she beeped the door open and slid out. Walking around the car, she opened his door and said, “Scoot. I’ll drive.”

  “Uh?” He looked up, his eyes unfocused.

  “Scoot to the passenger seat. I’ll drive you home.”

  “Oh. ‘kay.” He did as asked and barely managed to snap his seatbelt closed. She forced herself not to comment and instead focused on the road. She wouldn’t think of earlier. Nuhuh. “Thanks, C.”

  Damn it, James! “You’re welcome,” she replied, unsure of what etiquette dictated on such an occasion. I’m glad I sucked you off?

  “I feel much better.”

  “I’m glad,” she snapped back.

  He was silent for a little while but she could feel his eyes on her. “You look a little tense. Did I hurt you? I was a bit out of it at the end, I think.”

  You think?? “Nope.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yep.”

  “Chloe?”

  “Yep?”

  “You don’t sound okay.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “You sure?”

  “I already said yes, James!” she snapped once more.

  “You never talk to me like this, baby. You’re not fine. Is it because of what happened? Because you’d said yes and I really couldn’t wait any longer. And, you know, you were the one who suggested going down on me—”

  She cut him off, “I know! Now can we please stop talking about it? I’m trying to drive here!”

  “Uh, okay. Let’s discuss it as soon as we’re home then.”

  “Ahhhh!” she finally exploded. Veering to the right, she slowed to a stop and nearly upended a pole. Her turn to hold onto the steering wheel with clenched hands.

  “I told you you weren’t fine.” She closed her eyes but no, he kept on talking. “Why did you tell me yes if you didn’t want to go through with it? I would never have touched you otherwise!”

  Fuck, that hurt. She bit her lip and tried very hard not to burst into tears. “I’m just…not used to this, that’s all,” she finally managed to say.

  “Used to this? What does that mean?”

  “You know, sex without emotions. I don’t think I’ll be any good at it so why don’t you—”

  “You were great, babe. Don’t worry about that.”

  Damn man was being deliberately obtuse. It’d taken him ages to come and she knew it’d been because she’d been bad at it. He’d been so aroused it shouldn’t have taken more than a couple minutes. She knew it, he knew it and yet, he was still lying to her!

  “Do you want me to take the wheel?”

  Her head hung down. It was a losing battle, wasn’t it? “Sure, if you want.” She checked the mirror and opened the door, sliding out of the car one more time. There was no point in discussing it when he was behaving like this. He was too good at ignoring things he didn’t want to acknowledge.

  Chapter Two: The Next Level

  “Can you come back tonight?”

  Chloe froze in the doorway. Clutching her handbag, she turned her head and said, “What?”

  “I’m feeling a lot more mellow right now but I’m pretty sure it’s gonna hit again during the night. So I thought you could, ya know, sleep here or something.”

  She blinked. “You want me to move in?”

  “Yeah. Is that okay?”

  No! “I…I don’t know. I mean, what if you go out and find someone else? You won’t need me then.”

  “C, we’ve discussed this.” Had they? “I think it’ll be easier if you stay here. That way, if I need you, you’ll be—”

  “Available?”

  “Yeah. What do you say?”

  I say, you’re crazy. Except she couldn’t say that out loud. “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t have anyone waiting for you at home, C. I’ve seen your apartment, remember?”

  Her apartment was really one room. It was tiny and stuffy but it was hers. And she enjoyed being on her own, forgetting about James and his busy life. “Maybe but—”

  “Please.”

  She sighed. “Stop it, J.”

  “Stop what?”

  He grinned back at her, obviously knowing he’d won. “Just grab your stuff and come back here. Why don’t we order pizzas and watch a movie? Would you like that?”

  He looked so eager she couldn’t help but smile. That sounded nice actually. Normal. “Okay. That sounds good.”

  “Great. Then I’ll make sure you’re all relaxed before we move on to the next level.”

  She blinked. Say what?

  * * * *

  She’d seriously considered staying home and texting him to say she’d changed her mind. But she was weak, had always been when he was concerned. That’s probably why she was still his PA after all these years. Oh, he was a nice boss. He gave her regular bonuses, he never had any extravagant demands or at least, not that often. He wasn’t mean.

  He was James.

  The man she’d been in love with, ever since she’d met him at his mom’s. That had been nearly ten years ago and she could remember it as clearly as if it was yesterday. She’d been chatting with Diana in her kitchen, grateful to the older woman for her job offer. But she’d never expected her famous rocker son to drop by during a break in his tour to surprise his mother.

  She’d heard so many things about him. She’d seen pictures, videos. She’d written accounts of his childhood down while Diana talked so they’d be recorded for her book. But having him suddenly standing in front of her had been something else.

  And even if she’d noticed the
way he’d hidden behind his sunglasses, or how he’d slurred his words once in a while, that hadn’t stopped her from daydreaming. He was so nice, especially to his mother. He loved making her laugh, her smile his only prize.

  And now she wasn’t working for his mother any longer but for him. Spending time with him every day, apart from when he was on tour.

  It was heaven. It was hell. But it was familiar. Well, it had been. Now everything had changed and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

  Stepping into the house, she turned the alarm back on and dropped her bag in the hallway. She’d slept here before and she knew which room she’d sleep in. Oh god, he wasn’t expecting her to sleep with him surely. Nah, she thought back to his usual routine with the women he brought home. They were sent packing as soon as the deed was done. Hopefully it’d be the same with her.

  “Chloe?”

  “Yes?”

  He appeared in the kitchen doorway. “I was wondering what was taking you so long.”

  “I…had a few things to finish up.” Like forcing herself to come back here. “What’s up?”

  “I’m hungry. What about those pizzas then?”

  “Sure.” She followed him at a slower pace. If only the evening’s programme was just a movie watched by two friends. If only he hadn’t mentioned his other plans. If only…

  * * * *

  She knew as soon as the urge took him. He’d just finished his pizza, the empty box the only leftover of his meal. He’d polished it off, his eyes glued to the screen and the action movie he’d picked.

  But now, his knee was back to its bouncing routine. His left hand rose and dropped onto the side table, as if looking for the pack of cigarettes that used to be a fixture. Except there was nothing there and she could see him tense at the sudden reminder.

  “Shit,” he swore, grabbing his glass of Coke instead and draining it.

  Before he could corner her, Chloe stood up and hurried out of the room. She needed some time to herself first. She strode into the nearest bathroom and locked the door behind her. Staring at her reflection, she winced.